These past months have been SO ridiculous.  Between working a trillion hours at my job and taking summer classes, I've barely been on a computer for longer than the time it takes to just check my email.

I'm officially living in Chicago for the next year.  My apartment is TOTALLY killer and located one block from Wrigley Field.  I love the Wrigleyville area and the nightlife is nothing but AMAZING and full of good-looking people.  Harldy anyone is fat in the city because it's so BUSY and everybody walks or bikes or rollerblades where ever they go.  It's very inspiring and the energy of the city alone is enough to get someone off their ass.  I was happy to learn that the gym I have a membership to (from back in the suburbs) has a location five minutes away from my new place with tanning beds.  My eating has been so under control, it's not even funny.  It was kind of hard during the move since there was no food in our fridge yet so everything we ate was pizza and fast food or take-out.  Now that I'm settled I love going to the Whole Foods Store and buying a ton of health food.  My older sister, also my roommate, is pretty worthless when it comes to buying anything to contibute to the apartment, so I know she won't go out and buy any junk food on her own.

to be continued---

I feel like the biggest pile of ass today.  The past two days have just been a whirl-wind of horrible eating on my part.  But the funny thing is, I was eating "normally".  I ended my fast on Tuesday at some 150-odd hours by eating a pear.  I was doing some research on fasting and it said when you come off of a fast, you should eat fruit the first day, veggies, the second, and no real protein until the third or fourth day.  Yeah, that didn't really work out.

Tuesday night the boy and I had an AMAZING dinner at this place called Opera in Chicago.  They serve really amazing Chinese-type food, but the interior is so modern and chic, and everyone around us was in business suits or cocktail dresses.  It was really interesting.  We were dressed to par, so it was all good.  We both drank wine, split an appetizer, had entrees, and split a dessert.  I didn't get ridiculous and eat too crazy or anything.  I took it slow, and I had a  lot of leftovers to bring home.  Afterwards, we saw the movie Sin City which, I thought, was amazing.  Unlike any movie I've ever seen. 

Yesterday was a different story, however.  I went to the Chicago Cubs double-header with some friends.  We had seats in the bleachers which was SO much fun!!  But I drank a LOT of beer, and the only food that they have at a ball park are hot dogs, pretzels, nachos, etc.  I ate one and a half pretzels, had some of my friend's nacho chips with a little bit of cheese.... I was feeling O.K.  Not too gigantic yet.  We left toward the end of the second game because everyone was tired and hungry.  We took the train back home, and then my friends have the bright idea to go to the restaurant where we work for dinner (for the employee discount, since we all spent a majority of our money on beer at the game).  We ended up getting two different appetizers and a deep dish pizza.  Again, I ate the same amount that a "normal" person would eat........ but my stomach had been so empty and wonderful feeling for 7 days that I felt like such a BLIMP.  I was in and out of the bathroom all night either shitting or having that feeling like I was going to vomit because of the terrible acid indigestion I had.  This morning I felt even worse.  My face felt all puffy and my body just felt so swollen all over the place.  I managed to roll out of bed to get myself a cup of coffee, but I felt so obese that I wanted to cry.  I knew I had to go to class in an hour and a half, and I just didn't want to.  I was so afraid that everyone was just going to look at me like an elephant sitting in the middle of the classroom.  I did my best to clench my stomach muscles in an attempt to hold my tummy in rather than walk around with a protruding belly like a pregnant lady.  And I was wearing a hoody for christ's sake!!  It's amazing how just two days can go by and that same wave of paranoia just came right back sweeping over me.  I refuse to go near the scale..... the numbers will only knock me back into a mental breakdown.  It's bad enough that I have to go to work later.  I'm going to try digging up my work hoody so I can hide in that instead of just wearing my usual work t-shirt (my restaurant is extremely casual- no uniforms, just a t-shirt with the name on it, jeans, and an apron).  I even feel like my neck is fatter.

My dilemma now is how to go about ridding myself of this wretched feeling.  I'm thinking maybe I'll just eat healthy through this weekend, fruits, veggies, fiberous cereals to kinda clean my system from all the fatty garbage I ate the past two days..... then on Monday start the Twiggy Diet.  500 cals one day, fasting the next day, then another 500 cal day, and so on.  Tomorrow I'm going to my aunt's house to start a 3-week dog and house sitting job while my aunt and uncle stay at their condo in Florida.  I LOVE staying at their house.  My uncle is an accountant and my aunt sells paintings, so they're well-off and have the most amazing place.  Plus, since I get to hang out all by myself unless the boyfriend comes over, I'm free to starve myself for as long as I want.  I don't think I'm ready for another week long fast.... I need to let my body recooperate.  But the Twiggy Diet sounds excellent for now. 

On that note, I need to go take a shower, stare at my body fat for another hour, then head out to work.  I want so badly to visit all of your sites and thank all of you for your support and sweet comments.  You ladies don't know how much you all mean to me.... and now here I am, back to being a heiffer.    I'm sorry, and I love you all.

CW~  126....... 1 pound away from STGW #2!!!!

Fast Currently At~  137 hours 

So I just went to this store called Trader Joe's.  This place is my heaven; they specialize in health food... ranging from vegetarian foods, vegan foods, free-range products for the carnivores, practically everything is organic, or no preservatives added, no sugar added, low-cal, low-fat, fat-free........... you name it, they probably have it.  And for this little Sparky, after not eating for 5 and 1/2 days........ needless to say, I went to town!!!  I bought spinach and tofu egg rolls, shrimp and veggie egg rolls, soy nuggets, eggplant cutlets, pre-packaged rice bowls (kind of like uncle ben's but BETTER).... one with chicken, veggies, rice, and teriyaki sauce, another one with just veggies and rice, some Odwalla bars, a bottle of Spiracha (a vietnamese-type condiment, kinda like ketchup, but spicy), and I came across some Yves products and got a package of the veggie turkey slices (i can't wait to try 'em marissa!).  Oh man, I could've bought one of everything, but I was only carrying a little basket and my hand was starting to hurt.  Plus, I didn't want to spend too much money on food that I probably won't even eat for atleast another few days since I'm still fasting, haha .  But it'll be fun when I go back to restricting so I can try everything.  And when I keep my cals between 400-600, it's like a game for me to calculate new recipes and see what I can eat for 27 cals or something just to make an even number for the day.  Dork?  Yeah I am.

I was wanted to work out after shopping, but I realized I was dumb and bought frozen foods, so I had to bring them home.  I want to get my car washed, but I think it's going to rain later.  So maybe I'll just go tanning, and come home to do some Pilates.  30 minute upper body and abs, then the 15 minute bonus routine which is mostly legs and butt.  Plus, I'm going to work later, so that means plenty of walking. 

Ladies, I can NOT thank you enough for all of your support and kind words.  I appreciate and love each and every one of you times a million!!! 

CW~ 127.0

Fast Currently At~ 116 hours

I've decided to just keep this fast going until Tuesday night when the boy and I go out to eat.  I've made it this far, what's a few more days?  That's a 7 day fast.... damn.  I'm so pumped, haha.  I decided to take that picture of me down, cause my body is honestly starting to look different and a lot better.  As soon as I can get a new picture, I'll post it. 

I need to drink a lot more water today. I drank hardly any yesterday... bad bad bad. 

Time to get ready for work.    It's like 80 degrees here today, and I get to work.  Poooooop. 

Wow!!    Thank you for all of your wonderful comments, ladies!!  You are all so beautiful and rock my socks off to no avail!! 

Drum roll please..............................................................

CW~ 128.2!!!!  Oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!! 

Ana and I are best friends again!!!  I thought I left her behind at school, but she moved back to be with me.  Haha- I can't believe it, I'm so elated.  I'm down 7-8 pounds just since Tuesday.  I might have to post a new pictures soon!!!  I worked a 13 hour shift yesterday on ONLY 90 CALORIES!!  And that was from Light and Healthy orange juice that I had at 10:30 am.  These Stacker 3s totally rock my world.  Well wait, I forgot, I had a pint glass of Bud Light after my shift, cause I needed a beer, like, BAD after working that long.  So I'll guess about 150 cals.  So my fast is currently at.... I'd say...  90 hours .  The last "meal" I ate was around 8pm Tuesday night.  The boyfriend and I FINALLY have a night off together next week!!  Which is, coincidentally, next Tuesday.  Do I dare try to fast until then??  It's another 3 days away... hhmmm... we'll see.    I know we're definitely going out to eat, because I owe him dinner for driving me to the train station last week (the station's about 45 minutes in traffic from where we live).  He says I have to surprise him and take him somewhere new, which is fun because I can just look up some places that serve wicked healthy things or vegetarian dishes around Chicago.  He'd be down cause he doesn't eat red meat or pork, and he knows that I like to eat healthy. 

I have to go to work in two hours.  I think I'm cursed.  It's always the most beautiful day here in Chicago on the days that I have to work.  On my days off it's all clouds and rain or 85 mile an hour winds....... ok, not that bad, haha.  Oh well..... feeling good, not eating, feeling the will-power bursting out of my ears for not eating at work this entire week.  I'm almost terrified to eat when I do stop this fast.  I'm expecting to get the worst stomach ache ever.  Are there simple foods that I should eat that won't shock my tummy after not having anything in it??  I need your help ladies!!  I'll have to do some research of my own, for sure.  Last night I think my tummy tried to rumble, it was cute. 

And the greatest highlight of my night came from one of my tables.  It was an older man with his, maybe, 18 year old son.  I thought this man looked ridiculously familiar, but I didn't want to say anything, so I served them and went about my business as usual.  They were really nice, and when they were done he gave me his credit card to pay his bill.  When I went to run it through the machine I looked at the last name and finally figured it out.  A girl a year younger with me that I ran track with, this was her father!!  He was such a nice man and always came to our meets, but I didn't recognize him because he always wore a little golfer hat.  When I went to drop the slip and his card back off to the table I said, "So how's Ashley?"  And he goes, "OH!  You are **my name here**!!  I thought you looked familiar!!  Boy, you've really thinned down!!"  I thought I was gonna faint, that was the greatest compliment ever!!!  I had a smile on my face the rest of the night.  No one else has said anything yet.  I mean, at 5'8" and 135, I was the skinniest girl at my restaurant.  (The only one person skinnier than me being my boyfriend, haha).  I guess I'll just have to keep losing!  Now that I'm 128 and all... hahaha.  I know 128 might seem gigantic to some of you that are already much tinier than me, but with the amount of muscle I have, it's hard to lose weight, this is going well for me.

GGGGGGGGrrrrrrrrr..... gonna go do a quick Pilates workout, jump in the shower, and get ready for work.  I hope each and every one of you are having a totally killer weekend!!!    **MUAH**